Melinda was a lady that I arrested twice in 3 months and prior to that she was arrested by another investigator out of our office. My last arrest would be the last time we bailed her out. You will understand why we wanted nothing to do with her after this.

When I was assigned the first case I did little to check on any previous cases. It seemed simple enough. She lived in a wealthy peninsula city and had been at the same address for 20 or so years. She was in her early 50′s and thus had no reason to worry about my safety. After all how much damage could a 50 something female actually cause? Ha!

One thing I’ve learned on this job is to never underestimate a female. Some of the worst struggles I’ve been in involved women. They are much dirtier fighters and for some reason react differently to control holds and restraint. They will fight you to the death and have no problem gouging your eyes out or kicking your balls up into your stomach. Trust me, I know.

My partner and I arrived at her house in the early morning and set up for surveillance. Her house was on a well to do cul-de-sac lined with multimillion dollar homes and expensive luxury cars. After sitting there for only an hour or so her garage door opened and she drove out in an older model European sedan. It didn’t take much effort to follow her and we could tell she had no idea we were behind her.

After a short drive, 3 miles or so, she pulled into a mall parking lot near a grocery store. We stopped about 50 feet behind her and waited for her to exit the car. Sometimes you don’t want them out of the car but in this case I wanted her to get away from the vehicle.  As soon as she got out of the car we made our move. This is were everything I assumed about her changed.

While walking towards her I called to her, “Melinda?” and she looked directly at me and yelled “Fuck You” and ran back to her car. Unfortunately, we didn’t wait long enough so there wasn’t enough separation between her and the car and she was able to jump back in the driver’s seat and start the engine. I ran after her, jumped through the open driver’s and struggled to shut the motor off.

The whole time I was struggling with her she had this bizarre, almost possessed look in her eye and a weird sinister smile. I’m thinking “This crazy bitch is gonna drive off with me hanging out the window, shit! Is this how my life’s gonna end?” Lucky, I was able to turn the key off before she could kill me and, following a brief struggle, was able to get her out of the car, cuffed and off to jail.

On a side note: There were 4 or 5 people watching this unfold and not a single one tried to help her. Two thugs dragging and old lady out of a car isn’t enough to get people involved? They watched briefly and just turned and walked away. Maybe they knew her.

There was obviously something wrong with her. During the entire 20 minute ride to the jail she was calling me every name in the book, explaining why I just broke the law and that she was going to have me arrested. I have never heard a woman use the words that she used. She had no concept of missing court rambled on and on about the judge in her case. I am not kidding when I tell you that she did not stop talking long enough to take a breath. I was one of the most painful transports ever, I even felt bad for the deputies at the jail.

Ok, so we got her book and figured we never see or hear from her again. Boy was I wrong. About 2 weeks later I received a call on my cell phone. I remember it like it was yesterday. My partner, me and another investigator were sitting at an In-n-Out Burger (hmmm) in Mountain View when my phone rang. “It’s her, it’s the psycho” I tell them. She was calling to speak to a girl in our office that assigns our cases. She was calling to complain about me.

Let’s have some fun, I thought. I told her to hang on and I simply changed my voice to sound like a girl. I don’t do a really good job sounding like a girl but It was funny nonetheless. I let her go on and on about me and how I was nothing more then a security guard and that she was going to have me arrested, sued and killed. At one point in the conversation she asked why my voice sounded funny and I just responded, “I have a cold”. All three of us laughed hysterically.

Is it over with? Not hardly. One month passes and my boss, laughing, calls me into his office and hands me a new case. He says, “You’re gonna love this one”. I look at the file and tell him to give it to someone else. It’s her. We re bailed her and she didn’t go to court again. “I don’t want it.”, I tell him. “Too bad”, He says. “I’ll go with you”. Off we go; my partner, boss and I. Back up the peninsula we go.

This time I do a bit more research on the case and see that she was originally arrested for apparently harassing a neighbor over a fence and violating a restraining order against her. This case is 5 years old and she just refuses to go to court. Something is wrong with her. She doesn’t belong in jail, she needs psychiatric help.

This time I am going to take a different approach, instead of going straight to her house I decide to talk to her mom first. After all, she’s the one who keep cosigning for her and probably paying the premium too. Her mom lives farther up the peninsula in Millbrae. I need to talk some sense into and see if we can resolve this peacefully. I really don’t want her to get hurt.

When we get to Millbrae I tell the other two to wait in the car but watch the front door in case Melinda is there. I certainly don’t want to get my ass kicked by a 50 year old psycho.  As I approach the door I hear yelling  coming from inside the house. It sounds like a woman but I can’t make out what they are saying. I knock on the door and the yelling stops. A minute or 2 later an elderly woman answers the door and tells me that she is Melinda’s Mom.  I can immediately tell that Mom is a bit kooky too and now know where Melinda gets it from.

Suddenly, from inside the house the yelling starts again. I look in towards the kitchen and I can see another female, mid 30′s,  sitting at the table, rocking back and forth like a 6 year old. The girl gets and and walks to the door. She is obviously stricken with something turrets, down syndrome, autism, I can’t really tell. Oh, please don’t mistake my description of her as being insensitive,  I’m just trying to paint you a picture. I’m in no way making fun of her.

The girl walks to the door and asks over and over again who I am and why I’m there, she won’t stop. Her mom his babbling on about Melinda and won’t answer this other girl. I’m getting irritated, I can’t hear anything but her asking who I am. I can feel my blood boiling feel like yelling, “Shut up!, Shut the fuck up!” to both of them. Just then the girl, who turns out to me Melinda’s sister reaches out and grabs my hand. What the fuck? I pull away but her mom tells me “oh no, it’s OK, that’s how she gets to know someone”. What? She now has my hand and starts smelling it. Not just smelling it, but rubbing her nose against the top of my hand, back and forth.

I look out at the car and my partner and boss are laughing uncontrollably, pointing at me. I hate this case. I got nothing out of this but humiliation. I decide just to head to her house and get her there. I did learn that Melinda has had a history of depression. She had problems for some time and her mother feels helpless. I beg her not to bail her out again.

We get back to her house and I decide to just knock the door and hope she answers. Nothing. We wait a few minutes down the street and out she comes again from the garage again. She sees us and takes off, we follow as close as we can but I know that this is not going to end well. We follow her to a large mall in Palo Alto but we have to stop because she is running red lights.

I decide to call Palo Alto Police and get them to make a car stop. While I’m on the phone with dispatch we catch up to her again. This time, though, Palo Alto Police are with us and they turn on the lights and sirens. She won’t stop. They chase her for a few blocks, again through the mall but she refuses to stop. Palo Alto Police decide to stop the chance and let her go. What? Why? She wasn’t even speeding! I speak to the cops and they tell me it’s too dangerous. You’ve got to be kidding me.

We immediately go back to her house and wait for her. I call the San Mateo Sheriff’s office who dispatch a couple of deputies to her house. We wait and as I’m talking to the deputies, my partner see her drive and decide to go after her, leaving me at the house. They are too far for the deputies to catch up so the deputies leave me at the house, alone. I’m furious.

My boss and partner are now on the phone with the CHP, trying to get them to stop her. They end up following her all the way to Millbrae, apparently heading to her mom’s house, when Millbrae Police get into a chase with her. This does not end well because she ends up smashing into a brand new patrol car. They’re not happy with us. We can never bail her out again, this is the last I will ever see of her.

A few weeks later I run into the deputies from the San Mateo Sheriff’s office and they told me that she had a warrant on the same case again. They were told my thier supervisiors to leave her alone. Apparently he mom bailed her out again at another bail company.