Some People Never Learn
We all know that most criminals are not the brightest people. In fact, most of them are really stupid and that’s why they commit crimes and why they get caught. So let’s all just agree that criminals are dumb, okay? Alright, now that we got that out of the way let me give you some proof. A couple of months back my partner and I were in Watsonville, CA. waiting for defendant to make himself visible. We were pretty sure of the address so all we had to do was wait. About an hour into our surveillance an older model pickup truck pulls up in front of the house. Inside the truck was the defendant and what appeared to be his father. The defendant climbs out of the truck and immediately jumps into a beat up old black Camaro and starts burning rubber in front of the house; just like any smart fugitive would do. Nice way to lay low idiot.
As the defendant jumps out of the car my partner and I approach him and immediately slap the cuffs on him. Now we already know the defendant has a warrant and failed to appear in court but he insists that he just appeared and everything had been taken care of. Being the nice guy that I am, I sit him on the curb and listen patiently to his story. He tells that his paperwork is in the house and wants to get it for us. He insists that he went to court. “No, send your Father in”, I tell him. “He won’t be able to find it. I know where it is and he doesn’t.”, he says. We go back and forth for a few minutes and I finally lose my patience and tell him to get up. “You’re going to jail”.I know he didn’t go and I’m not about to let him in the house.
I lift the defendant off the ground and escort him to the car. Once inside, he starts complaining that he needs to use the bathroom and is nearly begging me to let him go back into his house to use the restroom. I’m starting to get suspicious. There are really only two reasons why someone goes to great links to get out of handcuffs. One is so they can fight and run and the other is their hiding something and they want to get rid of it. My instincts and his body language tell me that he has drugs on him. He’s not getting out of these cuffs.
A few minutes into the drive he starts to close his legs really tight and is almost in tears. “I really need to use the restroom or I’m gonna pee my pants”, he tells us. My partner alerts me that he needs gas and suggests that we let him use the bathroom at the gas station. Okay, why not. As I’m walk him to the restroom I remind him that any attempts to fight or escape will result in an immediate taser deployment (I love my taser). He agrees but what he doesn’t realize is that I’m gonna accompany him to the restroom. Once inside I remove the cuffs and stand behind him and warn him not to even sneeze. “Pee”, I tell him. Nothing. “Stage fright?”. “I can’t pee with you standing behind me”, he says. On go the cuffs. “You can pee at the jail”, I respond.
Oddly enough he stops complaining about need to relieve himself. When we arrive at the jail I ask him if he has any dope on him. I already know he does, his body language says it all. He finally admits to holding Meth. I remove it and throw it away, giving him a major break. It’s a felony to bring drugs or alcohol into a jail and San Benito County Jail is famous for jamming people up for it. Not sure why I did it, this guy’s has been a jerk since we arrested him. I guess I just have a soft spot for drug addicts. The booking goes smooth and we go on our way.
Three days later I learn that the defendant called one of our offices and complained about how he was treated. You must be kidding me. I cut this guy a major break and he complains about me. I never get complaints and believe me there have been times that I should have. Not this time, though. Anyway, last week my partner calls me laughing. He tell me that this guy rebailed through us and didn’t go to court again. Unfortunately for me I can’t be there when he arrests him. I beg him to leave any drugs on him but I would be suprised if he makes that mistake again. A couple hours later my partner calls me and tells me that he had the defendant with him and he was holding quite a bit more dope then last time. He left if in his pocket even though he was begging my partner to throw it out. All my partner says to him is “Karma”. Yes, the jail charged him with bringing drugs into a jail and based on this guys past history, he’ll do some serious jail time. I bet we don’t see him again.
